When I first met Guo Jian, we did a lot of hanging out in the city like going to restaurants and shops or walking around in the interesting areas like Gu Lou 鼓楼 or Hou Hai 后海. He knew the side alleys and fun stores and would regularly tug me around corners that I hadn’t even noticed led to pathways….   …read more.

I always take a week to recover from flying across this vast planet. During my first week in either country—Canada or China—I have many surreal experiences during which I dream vividly, sleep erratically or like a boulder, and sometimes even see things or hear things that don’t seem to be there. Jet lag brings us another layer of consciousness, I’m…   …read more.

Just over two weeks ago, I went to the ultrasound that was supposed to tell us the baby’s sex, not to mention confirm my due date. The ultrasound technician was very nice, but she was unable to tell me any information. Seems that Canada, particularly with its immigrant population and/or some newly resurfaced “old” ideas about the preference of sons…   …read more.

Final Thought, Aug 2013   So, the tour is over and I’m poised to return to Beijing next week. I will look a lot different coming back than when I left. My belly has grown significantly and I am sporting a new bump. Yes, the big news is that I am 4.5 months pregnant and expecting baby #2 in December…   …read more.

That question is already constant and I’ve just crossed the 4-month marker. It reminds me of something that would be asked by a waiter in a restaurant. I’m itching to place my order: “Yes, I’ll have one order of human baby, hold the birth defects, as well as a side order of easy delivery with no complications, please. Thank you.”…   …read more.

When it comes to the perceptions of common cultural practices and/or expectations of “normal,” the key to a peaceful intercultural relationship is a willingness to clean the slate and re-evaluate.

When I was 19 and had just come out of the closet, I associated “tough” with a look. It was big boots, spiked hair, tattoos and the obligatory grimace. When I dressed this way and walked out in the world with my “tough” on, I felt good. Tough was the equivalent of strong. It was durable. So, if someone slammed…   …read more.

For someone who had never planned or intended to get married—certainly someone who had never dreamed of my wedding day or felt fluttery when I saw wedding gowns glittering in store windows—the fact that I had not one, not two, but three wedding days is fairly ironic. I’ve written extensively about the first (and main) wedding in Guo Jian’s home…   …read more.

I’m writing this on the eve of leaving for Canada for our summer tour. By this time tomorrow, I’ll be arriving at my home city of Toronto and will be greeted by my parents. I can’t wait! It’s been too long since I’ve seen my family and they’re aching to see their granddaughter. More than anything, though, I’m aching to…   …read more.

Today, as I walked to the post office with Guo Jian’s cousin, Wang Yin, huddled together under a shared umbrella in the early spring rain, I finally had a chance to ask her about her girlfriend. She answered freely about what her girlfriend studies and how long they’ve been together and the fact that her girlfriend is really tall and was a basketball player.