I have been home now for just over two weeks and I’d like to state for the record that inertia is amazing. It’s the property that keeps an object (or a person) moving and, likewise, the property that keeps an object (or me) standing still. Once a speeding bullet stops, it lodges. I am truly not serving my surname right now…

The more I rest from my tour, the more tired I become. I’m experiencing an inadvertent, full-scale sloth impersonation. What’s more, I seem to have been affected by the cold pre-winter air and/or the pollution in Beijing because my head is clogged and my nose is making me talk funny. Yup, a head cold has taken up residence in my skull.

I’m in my 31^st week now and bending is increasingly more difficult. In fact, on the subject of bending, I first realized this was going to be an issue on the last night of my tour when I was in Niagara Falls, Ontario (Canada).

I was sitting there in a hotel room performing a songwriter-in-the-round with many other lovely women at the Ontario Council of Folk Festivals (OCFF) conference. I was sitting beside the lovely Amanda Rheaume and I had my camera and its little case strapped diagonally across my body. I had been putting my loose change in that case because I didn’t have a proper pocket and when I moved slightly, a loonie (which is a Canadian dollar coin) fell onto the floor.

Amanda noticed it and said, “Hey, you dropped some money!” I looked down and I actually thought to myself, “Is it worth picking up?” Can you imagine turning up a dollar of Canadian currency just because your pregnant belly makes it hard to pick things up?! I jokingly said to Amanda, “Do you want it?” and we continued the evening playing heads or tails on my dropped coins, which ended up being a few!

The point is that bending over has become such a chore that I was seriously willing to give up at dollar for it! (I won the toss, by the way, and Amanda picked up the coin and picked it up again after she tossed it in the air and let it fall! Bless her non-pregnant self!)

But, now that another two weeks have gone by, the situation has become dire. Shoes with laces are just a pain, literally. I’ve taken to wearing my slip-on cloth shoes that are traditional Chinese footwear and that look really funny with my sweat pants.

Socks are another issue and I’m embarrassed to say that sleeping in them and then wearing them a second day has become easier than changing into fresh socks would be. Of course, I have to remove them to shower, but when you’re not planning to leave the house because getting back to your apartment includes climbing 92 steps with an extra (nearly) 40lbs of baby and amniotic fluid to vertically carry up that stairwell, who needs to shower anyway?

Yesterday, I knocked a container of bobby pins onto the bathroom floor and I seriously left them there with a sigh. A few hours later, after I had a bit more energy and couldn’t stand it anymore after seeing them on the many pee runs I had done to the toilet in between, I got down onto all fours and retrieved them all from the floor, but not without some serious  grumbling.

I’ve been doing a lot of writing while I impersonate a sloth. I’ve also been playing with my cats and giving them lots of cuddles, napping regularly, watching movies, halfheartedly planning how to reorganize my house for when I get the energy to do so, and eating whatever my partner makes for me. Lately, he’s been the cook. The most I’ve been able to do is pop some popcorn or put some toast in.

I’ve officially become H-U-G-E and people tell me that I’m only going to get bigger. Hurrah!

Oh, I almost forgot that I did leave the house this week for another pre-natal check-up! They will henceforth will happen every two weeks from now until the delivery date. With that was my fourth ultrasound and, since I don’t think it’s necessary to do this procedure all the time, I asked how many more are expected. There’s only one more scheduled for the 36^th week. Good! Poor Little Spark could use some privacy, I’m thinking!

With that fourth ultrasound came the news that the umbillical cord is no longer around Little Spark’s neck. He or she is also within the range of the right size, just a tiny bit small for the January 1st due date and so I may delivery late (as most first-time Moms do). In the last two weeks, I haven’t gained any weight but my belly has enlarged, so I guess all the calories have gone to Little Spark! My doctor was there too and she encouraged me to eat more meat, forgetting that I’m vegetarian. Oh well, I can’t expect her to remember everything!

In the hospital waiting room, a woman leaned over towards us and asked if I was Ember. Turns out that she’s been following this blog and just gave birth to her daughter two weeks ago. She’s Korean-American and it was so nice to speak to someone in fluent English in that environment. She said that my blog was really helpful to her but there she was, open and giving, immediately answering some of my pressing questions about the birth that I just instinctively fired her way. She was so helpful to me. I feel so lucky that she recognized me and approached me. I guess that proves that blogs really do create community and that writing these can and will create exchange! Thank you so much! (If you’re reading this, please post a comment so that I can stay in touch with you!)

This morning, Guo Jian decided to read to the baby. He took out some traditional Chinese children’s stories and began to read in that sing-song manner of classical Chinese. I didn’t understand a word of it and Little Spark, who was kicking away when he started, slowly but surely was soothed by his repetitive voice and fell asleep! I think those stories are most definitely going to have to become our nighttime tales for the baby. Because I don’t understand them either, the sound of him reading makes me sleepy too!

So, since writing this is wearing me out, I’d better end this blog and get back to my pre-scheduled task of doing nothing productive. I mean, besides growing a human being inside my womb, that is!

Talk to you next week…